you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
