is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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