Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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