Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My feet surprised me
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
