So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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