fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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