you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
