She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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