this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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