Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
