remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize