South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
