Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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