he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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