The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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