When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
