i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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