yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
