we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
