i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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