i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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