i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
