I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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