Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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