Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
