How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
