Ketchup is God's man juice
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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