Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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