Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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