you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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