We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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