woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
