I am full of burrito and curiosity
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
