and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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