i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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