So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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