Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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