Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
