i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
