i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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