Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
