Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Randomize