Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
