people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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