she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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