One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
whose parrot is this?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
