Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I stole a fireplace last night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
