OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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