u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
