he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
