It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
