I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
