i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
