Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's shark week go big or go home
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