new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Sober January is a disaster.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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