he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
