Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
