Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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