Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
