I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm sobbing to NWA
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
