Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
