hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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