I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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