Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
