Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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