so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
